Undergarments & Such

Whomever invented bras should be gut shot and left for the coyotes. (Undoubtedly a man!)  I’ve always felt there would never be true equality for women until men have to wear boxers or jockey shorts with an underwire that lifts and separates, comes apart and pokes the underside.   Bras, booby traps, “sports” bras, underwire, no wire, padded, unpadded, water stuffed, cotton stuffed, barely there, over-the-shoulder-boulder-holders, or eyepatches. Although the naked option doesn’t sound so appealing, there ain’t a one of them that does the job efficiently!  Especially when it comes to equestrian activities.  There have been times when I was certain I blackened both eyes just by my horse stumbling. It doesn’t matter if you have fried eggs or watermelons, smooth horse or rough-gated, there is NOTHING comfortable about the jog trot. All riding bras promise to offer compression and restriction of vertical motion. (Refer to above photo) Now tell me that looks attractive and comfortable?! Besides giving you the uniboob (both tatas compacted into one sausage casing that gives the appearance of one, big breast), the sports/riding bra looks tight and difficult to maneuver.  Just look at the 75 cast iron hooks that I am sure entails a good 20 minutes of pulling, stuffing, and rearranging!  Not to mention, what happens when one of those puppies blows?  It may throw you completely off balance, put you out of stride with your horse, and well, the rest ain’t such a pretty picture. Flop, flop, flop.  So in short, I am not sure what the answer is for women of any shape and size, when it comes to riding apparel and undergarments.  I prefer to take my chance on Victoria’s Secret, with the hopes that at least it looks pretty when standing still.

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8 thoughts on “Undergarments & Such

  1. I love you and your wit Heather!!! I believe this bra is referred to the “Last Resort Bra” and I will admit I had one in high school for basketball. You're right, it didn't look pretty but it did get the job done. Keep writing!!!

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  2. You are too funny, accurate and true! I know a few gals that wear 3 sports bras at once! Uni boobs and all! So uncomfortable, and yes I am sure a man designed them!

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