Forgotten Words, {Remembered}

Dedicated to the forgotten and future versions of ourselves… Woman, man, boy or girl.  I hope that by offering up these simple and humble words, you find something to identify with, to love yourself for, to do better, to try, or dream.  Happy Sunday~

Aspirations. Dreams. Goals. Hopes.  When I was a young girl, I had these, and they were so grand.  If I had been smart, I would have written them all down and followed through, formulated the hows and whens and whys to get there.   So here I sit at 41, kind of wondering now, would it really have made the difference?

I can tell you now, that perhaps that letter to myself, that map of dreams, is so far from center and true and right than I could have ever imagined.  That damned ol’ hindsight…

Would I have continued on had I known it would be so different than that of which I envisioned?  Regardless, I did.  And this is my life made up of these series of choices, changed lanes and junctures in the road.  But had I known then what I know now, what would I change and do differently?

I wished I could have known that life would move me in ways unfathomable; that it would blindside me and confuse me and hurt.  But that it would also be so beautiful and inspire me in ways I never knew possible, and I that I let each sunrise and sunset breathe new air into my lungs.

I wished I could have known that I’d love people thinking I would always get that in return; that I would love people that I would someday lose; that people would hurt, disappoint, and change. But, I loved them anyway, and I gave it my best shot, and that love always finds a way back.

I wished that I had known I would someday be the bad person, the one that hurts others; that I would be alone and lost and so damn unsure, and that I would be so exhausted by the chaos of it all, I couldn’t always see the light; that the mistakes I make cost others in ways I couldn’t and wouldn’t know until it was too late.  But, I made them anyway, and I learned from them, and that forgiveness from others and myself should never be taken for granted, and that I learned to tread easy.

I wished that I had known there were events in life that I would never quite come to terms with, that the answers that I sought were not always the ones I wanted to find.  Or, that I would need to find closure on my own without taking the easy way.  But, that letting go was never quite as hard as I made it to be, and when I finally looked up from the search to the hows and whys, peace was there.

I wished that I had known that loving others was going to be easier than loving myself, inwardly as much as outwardly; that I would struggle every time I looked in the mirror accepting myself; that I tried to be a copy of society’s perfect human picture. But, once I learned to love my flaws, it reflected in other areas of my life, making that acceptance just a little easier.

I wish I could know that the best of life is truly yet to come; that serving others, being selfless, making mistakes, finding faith, and loving with all I have would make this crazy, messy, unpredictable life all that more beautful; that I survived it with some scrapped together grace and dignity, and that I left the world a better place for it.

Someday, I will reread this.  It will remind of the marks I made and missed.  I will be remembering words I had forgotten.   But, may I not be wishing I had done one thing differently.  Here’s to living authentic and hoping you remember your forgotten words, too.

Happy Trails~

Heather

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{Believe}

“When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive- to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.” -Marcus Aurelius

Life. It’s unexplained; the highs and lows, the ebb and flow of good and bad, the mixed bag of emotions inside of us. It’s just life. But one of the most difficult things to come to terms with is your fellow man’s input on your life. Their perception and thoughts of you impact you far more than you should ever allow.

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We live in a society that plays on and profits from our self doubt. We are who we are, and we suffer because we imagine we should be different. We imagine we should be a replica of a celebrity, a friend, or a flawless more perfect version of our own reflection. We hold our appearances to a high standard and place our value and self worth on our outward appearances instead of valuing and nurturing and loving the inward. Starve those thoughts. Believe that whatever flaws you think you may have are your own brand, your own version of perfect. Believe in you. Just. As. You. Are. And that’s when you, yes you, become rich in the things that really matter.

Not everyone will understand your journey in the world; perhaps not even you. That’s okay. Stop needing the answers to it all. Just live with purpose, because the last time I checked, you’re here to live your life, not to make everyone understand or justify your choices. Those that truly love and accept you, know just where your heart is and don’t question. The sharpest critics are those most often blind to their own shortcomings, insecurities and mistakes. Their opinions truly aren’t your problem. Love. Love anyway. Because the happiest people are the ones taking care of their own business and choosing to improve themselves. Be one of those.

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Changing lanes in life requires ambition, going with gut instinct, grit, pain, and not always knowing the reason why. Not everyone deserves to know the real you, so let them judge who they think you must be. Be happy anyway, and wish them well, and be on your way.

Be grateful for your life; every aspect of it. Life is full of ups and downs and twists and turns. Guess what? That means you are alive. One trip. That’s what we all get. So, journey on. And don’t stop believing.

Happy Trails-

Heather

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